Lots to be THANKful for

So, naturally I don't want to study for finals.  Im trying to think of constructive things to do besides go out and go shopping. I decided I would share my thanksgiving story. You may have heard it, maybe not.  Since this place is sorta like a journal for me I decided it would be good to write the story out while its still fresh. :)

The day started at 6:30 am. I got up along with dad and becca to go run our Turkey Trot. :)  On our way to the race Dad mentioned that he had talked to Jeff the night before.  He mentioned that he didn't receive the $80 care package that mom sent because the post office was closed until that Monday.  I was a little irritated as mom had paid for overnight shipping on MONDAY and as of WEDNESDAY it still wasn't there.  We had sent him a can of peas, turkey jerky, a tasteycake pumpkin pie, and some other favorites.  We figured he could have his own little dinner while we skyped him as we ate our dinner.

 Dad then proceeded to tell me that Jeff found out Wednesday afternoon that he was assigned to a family and had to spend the day with them for Thanksgiving. No big deal right? Thats a nice thing for them to do...WRONG.  Jeff either had to wear Khakis with a white button down shirt, or his dress blues.  Here is where the problem lies. Jeff didn't have khakis and it was too late to go out and get some, so he was going to have to wear his dress blues, which he looks stunning in. However, they are extremely uncomfortable.


He had to be at a bus station at 7 am where he would meet his family and then spend the day with them.  All I could think of was how I knew Jeff wanted to watch the football game and how I'm sure that his dress blues would not be comfortable to sit around in all day.  I kept reminding myself that this was his choice and that he's a big boy Marine.  He can do it...I mean really if he can run miles in a heat index of 110 he can sit in a comfy house with uncomfy clothes on.  This didn't really help the fact that it was going to be weird not to have him sitting there with us at the table.  I was also upset that this wasn't the first time the military messed something up for him.  Im proud of Jeff and I am thankful for the military personnel and for ALL they have done for my freedom...but sometimes they just aren't organized.

Anyways, I pushed all thoughts out of my mind and ran the race. We had a ton of fun, Becca filled in for my friend who was originally going to run but at the last minute couldn't. I beat my last time (*cough and dad cough*, dad beat my first 5k race time, and Becca finished...which was her goal. :)

After the race we rushed home to get some of moms sticky-buns and tell her how we did.  Shortly after we got home Dad and Chris left for Shenk Park for the annual Turkey Football game with church friends.  Little did we know, Jeffs good friend Tyler had picked Jeff up from the Harrisburg airport and brought him to the field.  Jeff got ahold of the football and yelled for Dad to catch, dad thought it was Chris and then did a double take. Chris was pretty surprised as well.  After the game they went and picked up Jeffs car from the shop near the park.

I went upstairs and got a shower, while I was in there I just started thinking of Jeff and how he could potentially have a miserable day.  I started crying and prayed that God will help him to have a relaxing day and that he would know that even though he couldn't be with us in real person or on Skype that he would know that he is loved and we are thankful for his service.

I came downstairs and joined Rachel and Mom in the kitchen doing homework/talking/making dinner.  We saw my car pull in and new it was time to sit and listen to all of Dads awesome plays and whatnot. :)  Chris walked in the door followed by my cousin Matt, Chris had my camera at the field and had it out of the case as he walked in. I thought he had some awesome pictures to show me.  I then see dad walk in with a backpack, I kinda looked at it wondering why he had it with him, and then it hit me at the same time I looked up at the man in the doorway that it was Jeffs backpack. Chris captured the whole thing.

                                    Mom screamed, embraced him, and started crying.

                                         
                                                     I was a bit shocked.

                              This will be a moment my family will forever make fun
                              of me for, as I blurted out while crying that I was "mad at him
                              because I just wasted time in the shower crying over him" I think
                              I punched him in the shoulder too...oops. haha

                            He forgave the punch and gave me the best hug ever!

                            Becca was in the background yelling that she wanted
                            a turn as she hadn't seen him since August. :) She got her hug
                           while the rest of us finished crying and shook as the adrenaline
                           took its course.

                            Forget shopping all day for Black Friday. Hiking,
                            laughing and making "asian" memories (inside joke) with your
                           siblings lasts longer than any TV on sale for $199. :) <3


                                         

I suppose I should spice this up, but I don't have a lot of time. So, I just want to encourage all who read this and have finals to hang in there and to finish strong. :)

Im sure a lot of you have seen this, but it never hurts to hear it again. :)

CLICK HERE! :)

"Now finish the work, so that your eager willingness to do it may  be matched by your completion of it." 2 Corinthians 8:11

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eaIvk1cSyG8 


WATCH THIS!!!! SO CUTE!

DEATH

Yes, the title is morbid...I know.  It seems to be the unfortunate reoccurring theme in my life the last few weeks.  

Here is a breakdown:

Fall break- Found out my teachers son committed suicide. 

Few days after fall break- A VERY dear friend of ours passed away

Few days after that- One of my best friends horse died. (it may not seem so, but its a huge deal)

This Saturday- A dear lady that I worked with at youth group, her nephew was hit by a car and killed.

Today- The GM of Hershey park died.

Two out of the five do not directly effect me, however the people it did effect are near and dear to my heart. My heart has been so burdened for these people, death is not an easy thing to deal with.  That person (or horse ha) is gone never to be seen here on earth again.  

The thought of all the deaths was overwhelming me the last few days.  I got to thinking about our time here on earth.  You think you are going to live till maybe your 80's 90's and peacefully pass away in your dreams.  Thats how I think at least, yet that is not the case for most people.  Each one of these deaths were sudden and unexpected.  They weren't laying on their death bed, they weren't in their 80's and 90's they were just gone in a blink of an eye.  

What if you died, just like that?  What have you done with your life thus far?  What would others say about the way you lived your life?  What did you offer the world while you were still alive?  Where are YOU going when you die?

All these thoughts made me want to step up my game and make sure that I am making the most of every moment because, when I die I want people to say that I was always serving, always loving, that I made them laugh, that I encouraged them and that I did what I could and never gave up.  

Although these thoughts gave me anxiety, I do have hope that when I die I  know where I am going.  I know that the Lord has a place prepared for my eternal life in heaven.  I encourage you to evaluate your life, do you know where you are going?  Don't think you have time to live life how you want and then get serious, cause it could be gone in a flash. 

If you have any questions on your life after you are done on earth, I would be more than happy to answer them. :)

Romans 3:23 "For all have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God."

Romands 6:23 "For the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord."

Well it appears that I had my settings blocking non-users from commenting.  I fixed it, you should be able to comment! :)

"TBD" "Too Busy Disorder"

So blogger changed, and it tells you how many profile views you have had.  I have more than I thought I would, unless its my faithful Emma checking up on me. :) Anywho, moving right along...

For the last couple of days I have been thinking about the phrase "Im so busy, I don't/didn't have time..."  Now, for some people and on some days this phrase is 'legit' and true, however if there are any out there like me, somedays its just a conveinant excuse to use.  Not only to someone who wants to spend time with you, but especially when referenced to spending time with God.

This past week I taught a lesson to my group of high school girls about spending time in the word and building a relationship with our creator. I talked about how we are supposed to treat Him like He is a friend not just someone who dictates our life and occasionally sprinkles us with blessings.  I mentioned how we always make time for friends, Facebook, eating, social activities etc... yet at the end of the day when our devotions haven't been done we say "ugh sorry God I was too busy, I didn't have time to get to know you today and Im too tired to do it now."  Now, maybe Im the only one that uses this excuse, and in that case allow me to just talk to myself here.

When you (I) think about it, this really is the worst excuse ever, because if Jesus would have used this excuse when it came time for Him to be crucified, where would we be today?  He made the time to die for the sins He never committed.  So not only did He make time but He sacrificed His time for something He didn't have to do.  When I look at it this way, the guilt for not making at least 10 minutes for him overwhelms me.  The summer relationship that I was in this summer basically ended with "Im too busy, I don't have time for you"  If those words hurt me, Im positive that they hurt the one who created us.  Thank God where sin abounds, Grace super bounds.

Devotions are a drag you say?  Well, I heard once that you should do your devotions at a time that you are fully awake and can focus.  Its also a good idea to associate it with something you like.  So, you like coffee?  Sit down with a cup of java and dive into the word.  Love the outdoors?  Make sure your setting is outside, or close to a window that will allow you to observe the outdoors.  The more comfortable you make it the less of a 'drag' it will be.

Here are some questions you can ask yourself when studying the word.  This list was given to me, so I take no credit.

God, what will this change in my life?
How will it adjust my life?
How will I be different?
If this passage is true, how will is radically change my life?


So, are we really busy or are we out of focus?  Do we need to re-prioritize our daily tasks? Are you going to allow what you know needs to change to just stare at you in the face or are you going to attack it?

 I know what I need to do...I need to get back to my homework so that I can get to my devotions tonight.

:)

We've got some growing up to do...

So this summer I was a fool and fell for the wrong person. I should have known that what was happening was too good to be true. I am trying to look at this experience and learn from it. I mostly look at it and think "You're an idiot."

God has taught me a lot through it all. I learned a lot about myself and that you can't trust everyone you know. I tend to give everyone the benefit of the doubt which is not always a bad thing. I guess I just need to adjust my filter for it.

He has also held my hand through it all even though most of the time I tried to drop that hand. Remember those times as a child when your parents wanted you to stay with them but you were convinced that you would be ok not holding their hand? You would try to wriggle out of their hand and their grip just got tighter. Sometimes they decided that they would teach you a lesson and let you go, still keeping a close eye on you. You'd walk away in your short stature and turn around with pride to show them "see I can do this all by my...oh wait where did they go?!" They were always there just not in sight of little you, enough to make you turn around and seek them out. I kinda feel like that was how my summer was. I was caught up in pride and kept walking my "I got it all, and my life is in control" walk and then all the sudden I took that glimpse and realized that I had left God on the back burner and wasn't walking in His footsteps.

This lesson hurt, literally I can sit here and think about it and my stomach will get sick but I know that God has a plan and I just need to get my butt on track and listen to His still small voice. Will I fail at following this constantly? Oh yea...this is going to be hard, but I know that this is something that I need to get on track.

I think one of my issues is that I am mad at God. I expected all my life to be married by now or darn close to it and here I am...still single. I know that now days everyone gets married older and there is more maturity when you're older, but when you spend your life expecting something its kind of disappointing when that dream isn't fulfilled. I know that Gods timing is perfect...this is just me complaining about it. I shouldn't be complaining though. He has proved himself to me in so many ways and through so many people. Little blessings or random encouragements just make me look up and say "You know what you're doing help me to follow your lead."

Hows that for a total rabbit trailed post?

“Do not call to mind the former things,
Or ponder things of the past.
Behold, I will do something new,
Now it will spring forth;
Will you not be aware of it?
I will even make a roadway in the wilderness,
Rivers in the desert."
~Isaiah 43:18-19

"Call to Me and I will answer you, and I will tell you great and mighty things, which you do not know." Jeremiah 33:3

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mx8ViFhn6Gg

My Darling Cousin...

So I made a whirlwind surprise visit to my darling cousin who is ever so forgiving! :)

stuck between a rock and a hard place.

Life has been so crazy weird and I sometimes just dont know how to handle whats being thrown at me. My spiritual life has been spiraling downward and I know that is a huge reason why my decision making is cloudy. I know that I need to stick closer so that He can guide me.

I have been getting so frustrated with people lately, I just dont get why people dont understand standards and where I come from. Its not that hard. I know that I need to let God use me and that my timing is no way near the timing that He has but im getting so tired of the waiting. Im getting tired of people thinking that im better than them because "i dont ____" well..I mess up too, im not perfect!

Im also getting tired of the punches, the words that hurt. Walking the straight and narrow gets old, and sometimes im not sure what has been keeping me on the right track and from rearing off.

Lord draw me close to you and never let me go, help me to see that you are all I need...

"Jesus said, "If you believe, you ill receive whatever you ask for in prayer." Matthew 21:22

Thank you Lord for all your blessings! Help me to be more patient for those you havent answered.

Big girls do cry...

“Dear Lord I thank you for everything Lord, I pray that you would just protect Jeffrey while he is at boot camp this summer. Lord please help him to get through all that he needs to do. Lord I need to know that you are going to be right beside him protecting him and giving him strength, I know its going to be tough. I know I shouldn’t worry because you are going to take care of him and you’re the only one that is going to get him through but im really going to miss him. In your precious name, Amen.”

This is the prayer of my 10 yr old sister. As I was unpacking my disastrous room I heard sobbing coming from my sisters room. I thought maybe there was a stuffed animal lost or something else was bringing on the tears. When I went in to see what was wrong she told me she was listening to a song and thought of Jeff and just started crying. I asked her which song and she took out his old cell phone and started playing one of his old ringtones he had recorded “If you’re reading this” By Tim Mcgraw. If you haven’t heard it…it’s a heart wrenching story about a soldier who didn’t make it back home. I explained to Natalie that, that song was a little different then Jeff’s situation right now. She said she understood but she is still going to miss him. Jeff took her out a few weeks ago, got her McDonalds and took her to a park and let her play. She told me that that memory meant a lot, and to have him gone this summer and not around to play with her in the pool is going to be tough. As I sat there stroking her head and holding her hand I tried to be tough and encourage her to pray for him when she gets upset…I was able to keep the tears back until she prayed the prayer above, there was no stopping the crocodile tears. We love Jeff and it is going to be tough to not have him around this summer. I pray that the Lord sends him a Godly friend, that God carries him when he can’t take another step, and that he stands up for what he knows is right.

I love you Jeff. :’)

In the pain there is healing, In your name I find healing...

For the first time in my college history I actually don't want to leave this place. I have had a lot of fun this semester and the thought of going home makes me depressed. I hate goodbyes, and honestly I just hate change sometimes. The last week has been such an emotional roller coaster that I'm not really sure how to respond to anything any more. I feel like a bump on a log.

"The pain passes. The beauty remains." ~Pierre-Auguste Renoir

His love is amazing!

Why do I worry when He promises to take care of me?

Thank you Lord for that promise, and for always fulfilling it even when I doubt you.

You are not a God dependent on any mortal man...

Thank you God for the lives that have been sacrificed for our freedom, for those who executed the plan, and for those who are continuing to serve our country. "One nation under God indivisible with liberty and justice for all..."

You are not a God Dependant on any mortal man You are not a God In need of anything we can give, By Your plan, that's just the way it is

You are God alone, From before time began, You were on Your throne, You are God alone, And right now In the good times and bad, You are on Your throne You are God alone

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9xPzTSpbYmk

Amen.

Love Awaits You

The other night I had an 84 year old man take me by the hand, look me in the eye and tell me that I am beautiful and worth the wait. Yes, I had heard this so many times before but it was nice to hear again. Sometimes in this "gotta get married asap" world you get weary wondering if that prince charming will actually show up at your door step. This man reminded me how important it is to wait on Gods timing, and not to rush into something. Marriage is a serious thing, not something to mess around with.

Psalm 37:4-7

"Trust in the Lord and do good; dwell in the land and enjoy safe pasture. Delight yourself in the Lord and he will give you the desires of your heart. Commit your way to the Lord; trust in himand he will do this. He will make your righteousness shine like the dawn, the justice of your cause like the noonday sun. Be still before the Lord and wait patiently for him; do not fret when men succeed in their ways, when they carry out their wicked schemes."

The same 84 year old man also pointed out this verse to me and told me to underline the bold words in my bible. I need to trust, delight myself in Him, commit my ways to him and be still and wait patiently for whoever that man is.

"A woman must be so lost in God that a man has to seek Him to find her"

Dear Lord,

While I'm waiting make me patient, allow me to find every opportunity to serve you and mold me into the woman you would have me to be. If it be your will, could this process accelerate a little?

Love,

Your impatient daughter

Dear Face,

Im not sure if you are aware of this but you are attached to a 21 year olds body. Now quit your nonsense and stop acting like you are attached to a 14 year olds body.

Sincerely,

Tired of being broken out

Well here she is! My new hobby. The iPad was great but I really was just using it for Facebook which I'm already addicted to so I didn't need a portable item to help me with it. I figured I should use the money I got from selling the iPad to help me get into a new hobby, something I have to learn and something that is practical.

This is another distraction but one that I can put my brain into. :)

Speaking of distraction...I need to get back to that paper. :)

Fear of Rejection

Yesterday my roommate and I were discussing the sorrows of being single. We were going over some of the things that hold us back from being outgoing. One of the things we discussed was our fear of people finding out who we really are. The fear of someone finding out that we really aren't perfect after all (a shocker I know ;P). No but really there are things in both of our lives that are embarrassing and hard to share, and the thought of sharing them and dealing through those things with that special someone is scary. But why? I dont know...we're just chicken and afraid to do it.

Today in church my pastor talked about the fear of rejection...how ironic. He mentioned that the fear of rejection is something we learn, not something we are born with. The only fears we are born with is the fear of falling and of loud noise. When we fear rejection we build up walls around us to isolate ourselves so that no one can see us. When he said this it totally hit home to me. This is exactly what I do. This is why I fear making new friends, this is why I cant even go up to a guy and say hello without my brain freezing. I worry to much about what people are going to think about my flaws. The remedy to this is knowing that we are loved unconditionally by Christ, He loves us no matter what. When we understand this love that He has for us, our walls of fear will tear down.

I needed to hear this so much, and I really want to work on truly knowing Gods unconditional love because these walls keep me from too much. :)

"Oh how He loves us so, Oh how He loves us, how He loves us so, He loves us, oh how He loves us, oh how He loves us, Oh how He loves..."

"Once you were alienated from God and were enemies in your minds because of your evil behavior. But now he has reconciled you by Christ’s physical body through death to present you holy in his sight, without blemish and free from accusation—" Colossians 1:21-22

What if...

Do you ever feel like you are constantly asking the question what if? I feel like my head is always spinning in circles asking this exact question. It frustrates me because sometimes I just wish that I could test out these what if situations without a loss of time, or hurt occurring. I wish that there was a machine that you could put these what if situations into and watch them play out.

I guess this is where total surrender and trust comes into play. I have to surrender my life and continually ask God for his direction. I just get so impatient wishing that He would give me the answers already.

"I hate feeling like this im so tired of trying to fight this..."

Spring Break

Day 1- Saturday we traveled all day long. We took turns so the drive wasnt bad.

Day 2- We went to the Johnsons church. The pastor was in from Nairobi, Africa. He gave a very convicting message about giving our all to Christ and not holding back. This created some great conversation between all of us. It was a great reminder that He will take care of us when we give up everything. After church we went to this little town and walked around, it was quaint but most of the shops were closed because it was Sunday. We headed to a HUGE mall that was the size of King Of Prussia. We found awesome one piece bathing suits at GAPbody for 8 dollars! We came back to the house to celebrate Mikaelas birthday and just chill.

Day 3- BEACH! We got to the beach around 1 and stayed until about 6. We all got burnt, I probably got the worst. I hated myself for forgetting the lotion on the back of my legs. We found a cute little frozen yogurt place right off the beach and of course we hit that up and then walked around for a little. Mrs. Johnson made us some awesome Chicken Noodle soup for dinner and again we just chilled and watched some T.V. and talked.

Day 4- We were in a lot of pain from the sunburn and wanted to test out some of the thrift stores in the area so we decided to make this day a shopping day. We ran into a strange man in one store. Rachel H. started a conversation with him because he had a N.J. accent. He was full of stuff, he claimed to have a recording studio in L.A. and N.Y. Said he was named after Frank Sinatra. He asked Rachel for a piece of the orange that she was munching on. He was peculiar thats for sure. His mannerisms reminded of my Uncle Scott, he was very personable which was fine, I just felt a little uncomfortable with with his scent of alcohol. After our escape we found a smoothie place and I got my nails done. Not something i do very often but it was a nice treat. I only bought two small packs of stationary and Rachel Eby got a few items, and then Rachel Hart got some clothes.

After shopping we stopped in the wet lands which was really pretty. We went around dusk so it was cool and the sun was gorgeous. We saw 3 gators and at one point Rachel E. stepped on a snake, the snake proceeded to turn around hiss and dart toward Rachel Hart and I. I screamed and ran like a mad woman. It was quite a comical scene. The snake was no thicker than a pencil and about 2 feet long. After our nature walk we came back to the house and got dressed up to go out to eat. We went to T.G.I. Fridays and ate dinner around 10:30. We had fun just being on no time limit and chilling with each other. That night when we got back Rachel Hart heard from a friend who works at Disney World and found out that he offered to get us in for FREE. We were all freaking out. I had been dying to go but just didnt want to dish out the money for it. I could not believe the offer! We set up a time for him to meet us on Thursday and get us in.

Day 5- We headed to Cocoa Beach which was a lot warmer than New Smyrna. We actually got in the water and rode some waves. We brought the boogie boards so it was perfect! We planned on staying in the area for awhile as one of our friends from school was going to meet up with us around 9 pm. Well we waited and 9:30 rolled around. He said he was about an hour away. So we went to Wal-mart (the only thing open) and walked around until about midnight when our friend FINALLY showed up. (This was hard as I was trying not to be a mom the whole time and tried to relax and just have fun) We ended up staying in Cocoa until about 4:30 am. We hung out on the beach and ran into some drunk people who were missing their naked friend. We later ran into a cop who found the naked friend and was looking for the clothed friends. It was a crazy night. We went to Dennys and had breakfast and then got back to the Johnson's house around 5:30 a.m.

Day 6- We woke up at 8:30 and got ready to head to Disney world. Yes thats right we only got about 2 1/2 hours of sleep. We were so tired! We got to Disney around 10:30 and went out to eat with the kid who was getting us into the park. We got the the park around 12 and Anthony walked us right onto Space Mountain and the Peter Pan ride. Both of which had about a 2 hour wait. It was so crazy! We got to watch the day parade and the castle show as well as ride some rides. The park was open until 1 a.m. because of St. Patricks day which was another blessing because it allowed us to get some rides in that we probably wouldn't have been able to ride because of the crowds. We got to see the "Electrical Parade" which was SO cool. Anthony was in this parade so we made sure to come watch him. It was great! We stayed until 1 a.m. which would mean that we had only had about 2 1/2 hours of sleep for 36 hours. We were exhausted but it was SO worth it. I got teary eyed just thinking about how blessed we were to get F.R.E.E. tickets! I wish that my siblings could have been there too, I know they would have loved it.

Day 7- We slept until 11. We were so tired! We still got up and went to the beach though we spent a few hours there which was nice to get some extra sun in. :) We had some boys pull up to us and blare their fowl rap music next to us. Rachel Hart was a brave soul and asked them to turn it down, they were kind enough to do so but of course they threw in some flirty gestures including a wink at me. I just rolled my eyes and was relieved that they left shortly after. We made it back in time to eat a HUGE pizza at the Johnson's and some angel food cake with strawberries and whip cream. yum! We had a nice time chilling with the family and watched a bit of "The Lion King." We got most of our stuff packed and hit the pillow.

Day 8- We left the house around 8:30 and made it to "The Townhouse" which was a nice little diner that Zac worked at. It was nice to get some breakfast before we hit the road. Rachel Eby drove the WHOLE way home which was great. I got to sleep in the back. We stopped at a fruit stand and the guy gave us free oranges and grapefruits. They are so yummy too! Our next stop was at "The worlds largest Strawberry" we got some home made ice cream there and I got some yummy bananas and a good looking tomato. We almost passed the place but Rachel stopped along the highway and backed into the place. It was quite the scary experience. We made it back alive, depressed, and tired of driving/ sitting. It always stinks to see a vacation come to an end.

Overall the break was MORE than we ever thought and I don't think that we could have planned it to be so awesome. God gave us some unexpected blessings and it was great to relax and refresh ourselves.

Now its back to school, stressing over my 18 credit load and looking forward to going home for Easter break to see my family, of whom at that point I wont see for a whole 16 weeks. :O

Gotta let go...

Lately I have struggled so much with my brother joining the Marines. I find myself searching for the rewind button wishing we could go back to the days where we were care free playing in the backyard, or pretending we were the next brother sister band, and the worst thing that would happen is that we had to do a chore or clean our room. Now I look ahead and struggle to not cry as I think about all that could happen to him. "Dont assume the worst" is what everyone says. Yea, ok I can try but when one of your best friends is walking into something that is so immensely difficult you cant help but wish that you could keep them from pain. I love him so much and I am so incredibly proud of him, I could never make a decision like that for my country and its because of men like him that allows our country to be where it is. He is a big boy now, and as the big sister, the one who has always tried to protect him I have to let go. I love my Jeff-rey Mac-en-henny and I pray that he learns a lot and grows to be the gentleman that God has him to be, that he stays on the straight and narrow, that when things get tough that he doesn't look down in despair but that he looks up and remembers where his strength comes from.

I cant even write this without choking up. This summer is going to be tough without having him around, but I look forward to what God has in store for Jeff and for me. Chris was hired to work at the Park and I really hope that our relationship can grow together while Jeff is gone. Bottom line is that I need to let go and let God take control. Gods plans are bigger and better than anything my silly "run away" mind can think of.