DEATH

Yes, the title is morbid...I know.  It seems to be the unfortunate reoccurring theme in my life the last few weeks.  

Here is a breakdown:

Fall break- Found out my teachers son committed suicide. 

Few days after fall break- A VERY dear friend of ours passed away

Few days after that- One of my best friends horse died. (it may not seem so, but its a huge deal)

This Saturday- A dear lady that I worked with at youth group, her nephew was hit by a car and killed.

Today- The GM of Hershey park died.

Two out of the five do not directly effect me, however the people it did effect are near and dear to my heart. My heart has been so burdened for these people, death is not an easy thing to deal with.  That person (or horse ha) is gone never to be seen here on earth again.  

The thought of all the deaths was overwhelming me the last few days.  I got to thinking about our time here on earth.  You think you are going to live till maybe your 80's 90's and peacefully pass away in your dreams.  Thats how I think at least, yet that is not the case for most people.  Each one of these deaths were sudden and unexpected.  They weren't laying on their death bed, they weren't in their 80's and 90's they were just gone in a blink of an eye.  

What if you died, just like that?  What have you done with your life thus far?  What would others say about the way you lived your life?  What did you offer the world while you were still alive?  Where are YOU going when you die?

All these thoughts made me want to step up my game and make sure that I am making the most of every moment because, when I die I want people to say that I was always serving, always loving, that I made them laugh, that I encouraged them and that I did what I could and never gave up.  

Although these thoughts gave me anxiety, I do have hope that when I die I  know where I am going.  I know that the Lord has a place prepared for my eternal life in heaven.  I encourage you to evaluate your life, do you know where you are going?  Don't think you have time to live life how you want and then get serious, cause it could be gone in a flash. 

If you have any questions on your life after you are done on earth, I would be more than happy to answer them. :)

Romans 3:23 "For all have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God."

Romands 6:23 "For the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord."

Well it appears that I had my settings blocking non-users from commenting.  I fixed it, you should be able to comment! :)

"TBD" "Too Busy Disorder"

So blogger changed, and it tells you how many profile views you have had.  I have more than I thought I would, unless its my faithful Emma checking up on me. :) Anywho, moving right along...

For the last couple of days I have been thinking about the phrase "Im so busy, I don't/didn't have time..."  Now, for some people and on some days this phrase is 'legit' and true, however if there are any out there like me, somedays its just a conveinant excuse to use.  Not only to someone who wants to spend time with you, but especially when referenced to spending time with God.

This past week I taught a lesson to my group of high school girls about spending time in the word and building a relationship with our creator. I talked about how we are supposed to treat Him like He is a friend not just someone who dictates our life and occasionally sprinkles us with blessings.  I mentioned how we always make time for friends, Facebook, eating, social activities etc... yet at the end of the day when our devotions haven't been done we say "ugh sorry God I was too busy, I didn't have time to get to know you today and Im too tired to do it now."  Now, maybe Im the only one that uses this excuse, and in that case allow me to just talk to myself here.

When you (I) think about it, this really is the worst excuse ever, because if Jesus would have used this excuse when it came time for Him to be crucified, where would we be today?  He made the time to die for the sins He never committed.  So not only did He make time but He sacrificed His time for something He didn't have to do.  When I look at it this way, the guilt for not making at least 10 minutes for him overwhelms me.  The summer relationship that I was in this summer basically ended with "Im too busy, I don't have time for you"  If those words hurt me, Im positive that they hurt the one who created us.  Thank God where sin abounds, Grace super bounds.

Devotions are a drag you say?  Well, I heard once that you should do your devotions at a time that you are fully awake and can focus.  Its also a good idea to associate it with something you like.  So, you like coffee?  Sit down with a cup of java and dive into the word.  Love the outdoors?  Make sure your setting is outside, or close to a window that will allow you to observe the outdoors.  The more comfortable you make it the less of a 'drag' it will be.

Here are some questions you can ask yourself when studying the word.  This list was given to me, so I take no credit.

God, what will this change in my life?
How will it adjust my life?
How will I be different?
If this passage is true, how will is radically change my life?


So, are we really busy or are we out of focus?  Do we need to re-prioritize our daily tasks? Are you going to allow what you know needs to change to just stare at you in the face or are you going to attack it?

 I know what I need to do...I need to get back to my homework so that I can get to my devotions tonight.

:)

We've got some growing up to do...

So this summer I was a fool and fell for the wrong person. I should have known that what was happening was too good to be true. I am trying to look at this experience and learn from it. I mostly look at it and think "You're an idiot."

God has taught me a lot through it all. I learned a lot about myself and that you can't trust everyone you know. I tend to give everyone the benefit of the doubt which is not always a bad thing. I guess I just need to adjust my filter for it.

He has also held my hand through it all even though most of the time I tried to drop that hand. Remember those times as a child when your parents wanted you to stay with them but you were convinced that you would be ok not holding their hand? You would try to wriggle out of their hand and their grip just got tighter. Sometimes they decided that they would teach you a lesson and let you go, still keeping a close eye on you. You'd walk away in your short stature and turn around with pride to show them "see I can do this all by my...oh wait where did they go?!" They were always there just not in sight of little you, enough to make you turn around and seek them out. I kinda feel like that was how my summer was. I was caught up in pride and kept walking my "I got it all, and my life is in control" walk and then all the sudden I took that glimpse and realized that I had left God on the back burner and wasn't walking in His footsteps.

This lesson hurt, literally I can sit here and think about it and my stomach will get sick but I know that God has a plan and I just need to get my butt on track and listen to His still small voice. Will I fail at following this constantly? Oh yea...this is going to be hard, but I know that this is something that I need to get on track.

I think one of my issues is that I am mad at God. I expected all my life to be married by now or darn close to it and here I am...still single. I know that now days everyone gets married older and there is more maturity when you're older, but when you spend your life expecting something its kind of disappointing when that dream isn't fulfilled. I know that Gods timing is perfect...this is just me complaining about it. I shouldn't be complaining though. He has proved himself to me in so many ways and through so many people. Little blessings or random encouragements just make me look up and say "You know what you're doing help me to follow your lead."

Hows that for a total rabbit trailed post?

“Do not call to mind the former things,
Or ponder things of the past.
Behold, I will do something new,
Now it will spring forth;
Will you not be aware of it?
I will even make a roadway in the wilderness,
Rivers in the desert."
~Isaiah 43:18-19

"Call to Me and I will answer you, and I will tell you great and mighty things, which you do not know." Jeremiah 33:3

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mx8ViFhn6Gg

My Darling Cousin...

So I made a whirlwind surprise visit to my darling cousin who is ever so forgiving! :)

stuck between a rock and a hard place.

Life has been so crazy weird and I sometimes just dont know how to handle whats being thrown at me. My spiritual life has been spiraling downward and I know that is a huge reason why my decision making is cloudy. I know that I need to stick closer so that He can guide me.

I have been getting so frustrated with people lately, I just dont get why people dont understand standards and where I come from. Its not that hard. I know that I need to let God use me and that my timing is no way near the timing that He has but im getting so tired of the waiting. Im getting tired of people thinking that im better than them because "i dont ____" well..I mess up too, im not perfect!

Im also getting tired of the punches, the words that hurt. Walking the straight and narrow gets old, and sometimes im not sure what has been keeping me on the right track and from rearing off.

Lord draw me close to you and never let me go, help me to see that you are all I need...

"Jesus said, "If you believe, you ill receive whatever you ask for in prayer." Matthew 21:22

Thank you Lord for all your blessings! Help me to be more patient for those you havent answered.