We've got some growing up to do...

So this summer I was a fool and fell for the wrong person. I should have known that what was happening was too good to be true. I am trying to look at this experience and learn from it. I mostly look at it and think "You're an idiot."

God has taught me a lot through it all. I learned a lot about myself and that you can't trust everyone you know. I tend to give everyone the benefit of the doubt which is not always a bad thing. I guess I just need to adjust my filter for it.

He has also held my hand through it all even though most of the time I tried to drop that hand. Remember those times as a child when your parents wanted you to stay with them but you were convinced that you would be ok not holding their hand? You would try to wriggle out of their hand and their grip just got tighter. Sometimes they decided that they would teach you a lesson and let you go, still keeping a close eye on you. You'd walk away in your short stature and turn around with pride to show them "see I can do this all by my...oh wait where did they go?!" They were always there just not in sight of little you, enough to make you turn around and seek them out. I kinda feel like that was how my summer was. I was caught up in pride and kept walking my "I got it all, and my life is in control" walk and then all the sudden I took that glimpse and realized that I had left God on the back burner and wasn't walking in His footsteps.

This lesson hurt, literally I can sit here and think about it and my stomach will get sick but I know that God has a plan and I just need to get my butt on track and listen to His still small voice. Will I fail at following this constantly? Oh yea...this is going to be hard, but I know that this is something that I need to get on track.

I think one of my issues is that I am mad at God. I expected all my life to be married by now or darn close to it and here I am...still single. I know that now days everyone gets married older and there is more maturity when you're older, but when you spend your life expecting something its kind of disappointing when that dream isn't fulfilled. I know that Gods timing is perfect...this is just me complaining about it. I shouldn't be complaining though. He has proved himself to me in so many ways and through so many people. Little blessings or random encouragements just make me look up and say "You know what you're doing help me to follow your lead."

Hows that for a total rabbit trailed post?

“Do not call to mind the former things,
Or ponder things of the past.
Behold, I will do something new,
Now it will spring forth;
Will you not be aware of it?
I will even make a roadway in the wilderness,
Rivers in the desert."
~Isaiah 43:18-19

"Call to Me and I will answer you, and I will tell you great and mighty things, which you do not know." Jeremiah 33:3

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mx8ViFhn6Gg