Gotta let go...

Lately I have struggled so much with my brother joining the Marines. I find myself searching for the rewind button wishing we could go back to the days where we were care free playing in the backyard, or pretending we were the next brother sister band, and the worst thing that would happen is that we had to do a chore or clean our room. Now I look ahead and struggle to not cry as I think about all that could happen to him. "Dont assume the worst" is what everyone says. Yea, ok I can try but when one of your best friends is walking into something that is so immensely difficult you cant help but wish that you could keep them from pain. I love him so much and I am so incredibly proud of him, I could never make a decision like that for my country and its because of men like him that allows our country to be where it is. He is a big boy now, and as the big sister, the one who has always tried to protect him I have to let go. I love my Jeff-rey Mac-en-henny and I pray that he learns a lot and grows to be the gentleman that God has him to be, that he stays on the straight and narrow, that when things get tough that he doesn't look down in despair but that he looks up and remembers where his strength comes from.

I cant even write this without choking up. This summer is going to be tough without having him around, but I look forward to what God has in store for Jeff and for me. Chris was hired to work at the Park and I really hope that our relationship can grow together while Jeff is gone. Bottom line is that I need to let go and let God take control. Gods plans are bigger and better than anything my silly "run away" mind can think of.